Addiction #2

I write about addiction and depression with various objectives in mind: to help others psychologically, to understand and improve output and productivity, and to build up a hopefully useful body of work.

Being unable to control your addictions can have a cascading negative effect on your quality of life, where things that normally seem quite simple become more difficult.

Addictions take you unaware because of how subtle they can be. A harmless indulgence can become a full-blown daily habit that eats away at your self esteem. Before you know it you're hooked and regularly doing things you no longer want to do. These habits can lead onto other unsavory habits that also turn into addictions.

We are mortal, even though the heat of the sun seemingly burns forever and will carry on after everything we cherish is gone. When the religious scriptures have been replaced and when our ancestors are fables and forgotten.

We kid ourselves that we are immortal. We tell ourselves that nothing matters because we always have tomorrow, next year and the rest of our lives. Another session won't hurt and so we carry on regardless. There is always time to recover because our minds are incapable of seeing too far into the future or properly perceiving what's immediately out of reach, just as we are unable to assimilate the people living above, below or around us in an apartment block.

Instead, we focus on appearance, status and immediate desires, creating an illusionary barrier to protect our mental health and stay on solid ground. We have commitments, personal agenda and lives to lead, but limited time to think about the trajectory of our precarious existence. Some people follow strict rules, others follow religion and doctrine, while others develop filters to sift out the overwhelming amount of information that bombards us every minute of the day. Some people turn off the TV, close YouTube or shut down their apps in order to cope, but open them up again at the next immediate opportunity. And that's how addiction grabs us every time, when our mind tells us it's time for another quick foray.

I wish I could instruct myself that I don't need another episode or more hours on video game X, or another beer, more food or one more cigarette. Now always seems the perfect time, until it becomes all the time. You dovetail responsibilities into your habits and constantly switch between the two. Everyone needs to do something: work, study, look after themselves or others, keep physically and mentally occupied instead of vegetating, but as soon as we get the slightest break we indulge in our worst habits again.

Too much digression and procrastination makes us unhappy. Great in the short-term, not so hot over the long.

We forget why we're doing things because we're so busy lugging our egos around while juggling between responsibilities and the need for escapism.

Our subconscious mind tricks us into believing in eternal life, a sort of delusion that we're going to live forever. An inner voice convincing us to indulge one more time because we've got all the time in the world. Alarm bells go off and tell us that enough is enough, but our inner desire pipes up again with its needs, and because it's been a while since our last session, we give in and go round in circles again.

The problem is, continuous bad habits can have a serious impact on your health, well-being and happiness.

If you're in that zone where addictions are subverting your true personality and making you unhappy, you can do something about them and regain control. But you have to be clear with yourself that you’re going round in self-induced circles.

My attitude to addiction and depression is to acknowledge the existence of a repeat cycle that stagnates and produces very little. Is this what you really want, another hour on social media after a long day at work?

Try telling yourself a few things: 

- I am a normal human being with bad habits. I admit them and am not hiding away from them.

- I deserve a better life and want to have more control over it.

- I want to achieve more than I am currently doing so.

- I will master circular addictions and not let them waste my life.

The aim of this article is to remind you that it's not necessary to go round in circles. Life is a cycle and we're all going to die, but it doesn't have to be an addictive and unproductive routine.