Research Into Happiness

Up to 50% of our happiness is built in, it's genetic. We are who we are.

A friend of mine had two unsuccessful kidney transplants and spent three days per week on dialysis to clean his blood. He got cancer later on due to his weak autoimmune system and died shortly afterwards. Surprisingly, he was one of the happiest and friendliest people I have ever met, which can only be explained by genetic happiness.

You can't just go out and get happiness because you want it. It's something in our core being that we either have or need to find through endeavour.

Here we are in the meantime, complaining about petty issues and feeling miserable because of our addictions and minor hang ups.

Happiness is based on internal factors that we are always trying to get to grips with. If you're not happy, there's a good chance that you're doing something wrong. You can be disabled, poor, obese, ugly, you name it, and still be really, happy, just as you can be rich, famous, young, beautiful and miserable as sin.

Interestingly, only a small amount of our happiness (around 10%) is based on external factors such as having a better car, great partner, etc. Yes, this small amount is still a lot and has an impact on our lives, especially when other people are more successful than us, but it's still only 10%, and who knows, many of these people are jealous of you for qualities you're not even aware of - the grass is always greener - for being the person that you are, that they want to be, free from the overbearing hangups and desires that govern their lives because they don't know how to get back to the inner core of their real selves.

Try not to worry about the small 10% that's out of your control and has nothing to do with you. It feels bigger than that, but it's not. Some people will observe your difficulties, insecurities, or perhaps other factors that you’re unable to grasp, which can make you feel inferior, but over time you will develop a thicker skin and sift through the plethora of third-party opinions to feed on the positives.

It’s important not to judge other people. Even though they may be judging you out of human instinct. And because we sometimes misread what other people think about us, it's hard to be yourself regardless of what they think or say. Learn to appreciate that the 10% external factor is just show, shallow and unimportant. You don't have to put on a show for other people but can learn to live in your own space and be really happy with it.

If you're content with who you are and comfortable with your own presence regardless of what's around you, you've already achieved a major landmark in life - a sort of internal acceptance to allow the mayhem to carry on without affecting your core being. You are learning to be happy with who you are in your own way, irrespective of other people's opinions. Stop worrying about them and be more secure in who you are and what you feel about yourself.

Remember that who you are is often someone else's dream and even their fantasy!