Sex Addiction

This is a sensitive subject for some people.

Weird thought: After ejaculation it takes men a while to get back up to speed - one of the reasons professional boxers are advised not to have sex before a fight. It doesn't really matter whether you're 17 or 70, it takes time to top up whatever resources you have.

This means that if you're accustomed to regular sex or masturbation, you're going to go through an aggressive/depressive phase when you stop getting it.

The desire for sex gets progressively more intense over days and weeks as you replenish. You eventually enter a natural and healthy cycle of desiring sex through natural stimulus instead of needing it every minute of the day because of artificial stimulus, which is the life of a sex addict.

It's a very straightforward phenomenon - what makes you feel great over the short term can make you unhappy and unfulfilled over the long. Sex addiction is like heroin addiction! It's amazing, ecstatic and you desire that feeling all the time, but afterwards you feel spent. This is a good in loving relationship but not so good otherwise.

Hard drugs have physical side effects whereas sex addiction does not - quite the opposite actually - sex is great and gives relief - but excessive masturbation is a form of addiction and procrastination that puts off real life and can root you to the spot, as well as harshly knocking your self esteem.

Sex addicts need porn and glamour frequently to supplement real sex. Hitting the no-sex barrier causes mild depression, anxiety and other uncomfortable emotions, and the logical way to deal with this (in your mind) is to repeat the masturbation cycle indefinitely, effectively tricking yourself into feeling immediately good all time.

Men who have high sex drives and pursue a lot of women for gratification are not necessarily addicts, but following natural instincts and desires to try and fulfill their requirements. Stable relationships are best, but being sexually promiscuous is not the core issue here.

Wanting sex, regardless of who or how you identify yourself, is not a crime, problem or sin. But heavy addiction to an activity that makes you feel bad about yourself can be damaging. If you feel bad about yourself, either physically or psychologically for not having a good sex life, you have an issue that needs to be sorted out at your end.

Some people can theoretically and continuously pillage sex in their minds and feel fantastic about themselves afterwards, while other people feel ashamed for having minor sexual thoughts. This is a moral or religious matter, however, and not necessarily what we're discussing here.

It's not what you do but how you feel about yourself. You may think you're addicted to sex when you're not, or become a total sex addict without even realizing it. It's different for everyone.

A normal male thinks about sex often. It ebbs and flows but is always there. Completely abstaining from sex is not an option for most people, nor healthy, but over indulgence is just as unhealthy or even worse because of how it affects your self-esteem and drains your natural sexual energy.

Not getting any sex at all can be a nightmare and you know why bulls are kept separate from each other and then let loose in the field? But too much sex is the opposite and makes you withered and unfulfilled.

The great thing about sex addiction is you don't have to abstain from it completely, but be sensible and moderate it.

Desire for sex leads to masturbation if you don't have a natural outlet. It's totally normal because of online porn and glamour sites and increasing AI interpretations, but do it too often and life can stagnate and feel like it's going backwards because you're expressing yourself inwardly and not to others around you. This type of addiction is depressing. You feel anxious and vulnerable, physically and psychologically. You rarely feel emotionally stable. It’s like being on a constant sexual high/low, strung out somewhere in between. You can become terrified of anything different and of letting go of sexual pleasures.

The desire for sex is addictive. You become an addict. A sex addict. It's not like hard drugs but it hits your self-esteem in the same way.

Luckily, once you get past the immediate barrier of needing sex right now, it calms down and gets easier, reverting to a natural period as you begin to dream again and enjoy deciding when you want sex instead of just doing it. Instead of going at it every 10 minutes out of habit. It's not easy - sex addiction hits you hard and sometimes requires drastic intervention to deal with constant urges - but this frustration is no worse after three weeks than it is after three days, and during that time you may have access to natural sex anyway. And when you finally get sex it feels better anyway.

Breaking the repetition barrier benefits you. You have higher self-esteem from not giving in to your sexual impulses every time you feel like it, feel better overall and more vigorous. Shutting everything down and simply going to sleep at night, or doing some exercise is physically and psychologically beneficial too.

There is no magic secret to conquer sex addiction, other than to understand the sexual cycle and its subsequent barriers and how they affect you.

There is nothing wrong with masturbating in itself. It's there to be enjoyed, but by breaking the cycle, delaying the repetition barrier and moving into a more natural and organic routine, you feel better about yourself and start to move on with less consuming, secretive and debilitating actions.

The next time you reach the 'barrier' and start to feel frustrated (unstable even) it's because you're at a sexual peak and need relief. Masturbating makes you feel immediately better and relaxed, but take care not to endlessly go round in circles and become an addict. Pushing past immediate desires and letting sexual cycles occur more naturally reaps benefits, particularly for your self-esteem.

If you're not getting any sex it's frustrating, but better than the constant physical and psychological lows of constant addiction. Feeling constantly tired, lifeless and ashamed for having no willpower.

You can accept you're addicted to sex and give yourself a bit of space. There is nothing wrong with needing sex and don't let the world tell you otherwise. But doing the same thing over and over again is equally detrimental to your mental health and self-esteem.

Don't beat yourself up or fight against your desires as though you're doing something wrong. Nobody has the same needs and we're all different.

The aim here is to break the daily cycle if you feel it's an unhealthy addiction, not to go without sex indefinitely. Feel better than a constantly drained pint of beer with nothing left.

Sex addition can consume your time and energy and eat away at your self-esteem.

Like beer, sex is great in moderation, not so much all day every day.

Richard Alex